I wish you would
want me to stay with you
stay the night with you
just holding me tightly
in your arms
not bothering when it will end
or not bothering what we are gonna do
because staying with me
looking at me and merely being with me
is enough for you.
i really wish for that.
more than anything in the world.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
A day without you
A day without you,
Is like night without any stars.
Coz all you feel is empty.
washed out of the little twinklings.
A room full of people,
where everyone is talking and laughing,
but you just can't
Coz that someone isn't there to spark your night.
Its like looking at my wardrobe,
full of clothes.
But I can't find anything to wear.
And that is frustrating to every girl out there.
Its like playing basketball all alone in a deserted court
on a deserted park
with no one to turn to when you made a 3 point
and you feel chilly when a gust of wind breezes by.
Its like itching to scratch your nose
but you can't coz your hands are tied up
and you want to so badly.
Finally, its like watching time pass by,
ever so slowly, ticking away,
not bothering about your impatience
or anxiety as you're held captive by it.
And here I wait,
out of boredom, loneliness, impatience,
waiting out these 2 hours + more
till I can finally talk to you.
I don't know how to act later,
As this is not what I called for.
And I had been really strong for you,
I hope you'd appreciate me doing this for you.
And you will never know how I feel,
As I write it all here in words.
Hoping you'd know without me telling you,
and show it in your tight hugs tomorrow.
Sigh.
Is like night without any stars.
Coz all you feel is empty.
washed out of the little twinklings.
A room full of people,
where everyone is talking and laughing,
but you just can't
Coz that someone isn't there to spark your night.
Its like looking at my wardrobe,
full of clothes.
But I can't find anything to wear.
And that is frustrating to every girl out there.
Its like playing basketball all alone in a deserted court
on a deserted park
with no one to turn to when you made a 3 point
and you feel chilly when a gust of wind breezes by.
Its like itching to scratch your nose
but you can't coz your hands are tied up
and you want to so badly.
Finally, its like watching time pass by,
ever so slowly, ticking away,
not bothering about your impatience
or anxiety as you're held captive by it.
And here I wait,
out of boredom, loneliness, impatience,
waiting out these 2 hours + more
till I can finally talk to you.
I don't know how to act later,
As this is not what I called for.
And I had been really strong for you,
I hope you'd appreciate me doing this for you.
And you will never know how I feel,
As I write it all here in words.
Hoping you'd know without me telling you,
and show it in your tight hugs tomorrow.
Sigh.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
God Of Wine
Do you know that Third Eye Blind makes you feel the deep down feelings you feel when you listen to their songs? This song, God of Wine just makes me feel like I want to hit the drums and get lost in my endless emotions and mind again. I keep wishing I never stop playing music, at the same time I wonder why I never picked them up again.
These days brings fruit those months. Its been a long time since I dawdle on my thoughts and put them to words here and lately there's just so much to unwind from. Life has never been an easy path and most of the time you have to let go, give in or fight. I wonder if we ever get tired from fighting constantly. Warriors of age old times have always fought to achieve the better good and endure the pain from all the sufferings. If humans have always been doing that since long ago, does this make us better than them Gods? Or are Gods those who have lived their days of glory and are brought to a better place?
What do you do when you feel fear, anguish, hurt and pain? There are a few short stories I've collected from the people around me,
A good friend of her boyfriend, who is constantly and always wanting comforts from him when she argues with her boyfriend or is having a bad day. He always have her on his thoughts sometimes during special moments, ignorant of his girlfriend's feelings and of the situation that is slowly going out of hand. She puts up with it but one day told him off. They all were young and as grown up they try to fix things, they all could not help being their age with raging emotions of hurt and betrayal. Things somehow sew themselves as time goes by wounding its arms of healing. But she still feels insecure and fear when they both sits together in class and laugh out loud at jokes, hanging out at parties and merely being good friends. She knows she have to overcome this herself as no one can help erase emotions a heart betray you in feeling. She wishes she is invincible. Then again, we are all just humans.
A night of anniversary. It was special as every month she celebrates it together. His sister suddenly wanted him to pick her up smack in the middle of their movie marathon at his place. She was devastated as he could not say no to her as usual and being the mr. nice guy he agreed without considering the other's feelings. His sister does not care about such important special trivial moments like this and she resents her for being so obnoxious. Moreover she resents her other half for not standing up to his sister to discuss an alternate option. Like her taking the car for practice since no one is using it instead of always wanting people to be her driver; and not being considerate in return coz she thinks she's older and have a priority above everyone else to anyone in the house. As usual the matter resolves by her other half making up to her. But this incident gave way to a certain dislike that harbours into a hatred bore. Again, we are all just humans with emotions right?
Her friend, who can't just seem to handle stress and taking the word no. When she wants something she became a pushy monster while convincing. She doesn't like it, as she feels she's being taken for granted because of the way her friend pushes her and isn't considerate on her feelings. Moreover the things she pushes on have nothing to do with her and she is just merely helping her friend out of kindness. She feels pissed off but she tries to understand for the sake of friendship and tries to calm both her and her friend's energy. We are all JUST humans with emotions.
Lastly, the toughest of all situations. She plans to further her studies overseas and she plans of going with her boyfriend, dreaming of being with him, living together with him away from both hers and his families, just them both together in an apartment room just like her two best friends with their boyfriends. The luxury of having that higest level of contentment and love. She sees him in her future, she wants him there in her future, she wants to share it all with him, simply because she loves him so much. But sadly she found out he did not plan to have her in his future. She was heartbroken and had not recovered from that blow but is trying to be strong about it but she hurts from it as the days goes by. She did a brave thing. She told him that she came up with two options now. She told him she can survive anything, anywhere. She is a tough weed. If he wants to be with her and wants her in his life, she would go to UK with him but if not, she will be going to Florida where the ocean life awaits her. It was the bravest thing and the toughest thing she had to do. She told him to give his answer to her on his graduation. Because by then she have to choose the route of her life, her future. She is strong, but behind every superhero there is a stronger person standing with them. She wants and needs that person. She's just human with emotions.
God of Wine, you gave her something to sit back and cry it all out to. Music can save a soul. We are all warriors of out time. Humans who succeed the bloodlines of Gods and who deserves medals of honours. We stand tall among mountains, facing the break of a new day with strong hearts and minds, keeping our fears and emotions deep down inside because we know, one day, someday we will meet our heroes and with the break of dawn, we will be able to stand free in the liberty of happiness. Our own self wrought happiness.
These days brings fruit those months. Its been a long time since I dawdle on my thoughts and put them to words here and lately there's just so much to unwind from. Life has never been an easy path and most of the time you have to let go, give in or fight. I wonder if we ever get tired from fighting constantly. Warriors of age old times have always fought to achieve the better good and endure the pain from all the sufferings. If humans have always been doing that since long ago, does this make us better than them Gods? Or are Gods those who have lived their days of glory and are brought to a better place?
What do you do when you feel fear, anguish, hurt and pain? There are a few short stories I've collected from the people around me,
A good friend of her boyfriend, who is constantly and always wanting comforts from him when she argues with her boyfriend or is having a bad day. He always have her on his thoughts sometimes during special moments, ignorant of his girlfriend's feelings and of the situation that is slowly going out of hand. She puts up with it but one day told him off. They all were young and as grown up they try to fix things, they all could not help being their age with raging emotions of hurt and betrayal. Things somehow sew themselves as time goes by wounding its arms of healing. But she still feels insecure and fear when they both sits together in class and laugh out loud at jokes, hanging out at parties and merely being good friends. She knows she have to overcome this herself as no one can help erase emotions a heart betray you in feeling. She wishes she is invincible. Then again, we are all just humans.
A night of anniversary. It was special as every month she celebrates it together. His sister suddenly wanted him to pick her up smack in the middle of their movie marathon at his place. She was devastated as he could not say no to her as usual and being the mr. nice guy he agreed without considering the other's feelings. His sister does not care about such important special trivial moments like this and she resents her for being so obnoxious. Moreover she resents her other half for not standing up to his sister to discuss an alternate option. Like her taking the car for practice since no one is using it instead of always wanting people to be her driver; and not being considerate in return coz she thinks she's older and have a priority above everyone else to anyone in the house. As usual the matter resolves by her other half making up to her. But this incident gave way to a certain dislike that harbours into a hatred bore. Again, we are all just humans with emotions right?
Her friend, who can't just seem to handle stress and taking the word no. When she wants something she became a pushy monster while convincing. She doesn't like it, as she feels she's being taken for granted because of the way her friend pushes her and isn't considerate on her feelings. Moreover the things she pushes on have nothing to do with her and she is just merely helping her friend out of kindness. She feels pissed off but she tries to understand for the sake of friendship and tries to calm both her and her friend's energy. We are all JUST humans with emotions.
Lastly, the toughest of all situations. She plans to further her studies overseas and she plans of going with her boyfriend, dreaming of being with him, living together with him away from both hers and his families, just them both together in an apartment room just like her two best friends with their boyfriends. The luxury of having that higest level of contentment and love. She sees him in her future, she wants him there in her future, she wants to share it all with him, simply because she loves him so much. But sadly she found out he did not plan to have her in his future. She was heartbroken and had not recovered from that blow but is trying to be strong about it but she hurts from it as the days goes by. She did a brave thing. She told him that she came up with two options now. She told him she can survive anything, anywhere. She is a tough weed. If he wants to be with her and wants her in his life, she would go to UK with him but if not, she will be going to Florida where the ocean life awaits her. It was the bravest thing and the toughest thing she had to do. She told him to give his answer to her on his graduation. Because by then she have to choose the route of her life, her future. She is strong, but behind every superhero there is a stronger person standing with them. She wants and needs that person. She's just human with emotions.
God of Wine, you gave her something to sit back and cry it all out to. Music can save a soul. We are all warriors of out time. Humans who succeed the bloodlines of Gods and who deserves medals of honours. We stand tall among mountains, facing the break of a new day with strong hearts and minds, keeping our fears and emotions deep down inside because we know, one day, someday we will meet our heroes and with the break of dawn, we will be able to stand free in the liberty of happiness. Our own self wrought happiness.
Every thought that I repent,
There's another chip you haven't spent,
And you're cashing them all in, Where do we begin.
To get clean again,
Can we get clean again.
I walk home alone with you,
And the mood you're born into,
Sometimes you let me in,
And I take it on the chin. I can't get clean again.
I want to know,
Can we get clean again,
The God of Wine comes crashing through,
The headlights of a car that took you farther
than you thought you'd ever want to go,
We can't get back again,
We can't get back again,
She takes a drink and then she waits,
The alcohol it permeates.
And soon the cells give way,
And cancels out the day,
I can't keep it all together,
I know...I can't keep it all together,
And the siren's song that is your madness,
Holds a truth I can't erase,
All alone on your face,
Every glamorous sunrise,
Throws the planets out of line,
A star sign out of whack A fraudulent zodiac.
And the God of Wine is crouched down in my room,
You let me down,
I said it, Now I'm going down,
And you're not even around.
And I said no...
I can't keep it all together,
I know...I can't keep it all together,
And there's a memory of a window,
Looking through
I see you.
Searching for something,
I could never give you,
And there's someone who understands you,
More than I do.
A sadness I can't erase.
All alone on your face.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
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